It's been a whirlwind of a year, nearly 18 months, hasn't it?! I don't know about you, but I've been through what feels like a literal roller coaster of emotions through this pandemic. Somedays, I'm strong and confident, and other days I'm depressed and anxious. When I take the time to look out of myself for a moment, I see these same emotions on my children's faces too. It's about time we try something different, something unexpected and something we all can do.
Author of
The Secrets of Happy Families, Bruce Feiler explained, “The most important thing you can do may be the easiest of all. Tell your
children the story of their family. Children who know more about their parents,
grandparents, and other relatives – both their ups and their downs – have
higher self-esteem and greater confidence to confront their own challenges.
Researchers have found that knowing more about family history is the single
biggest predictor of a child's emotional well-being.”[1]
While this quote specifically refers to telling stories to our children, the same effect can be true for those who actively seek out their ancestor’s stories for themselves. "Wait, what? You're telling me that just by searching out my family history stories, my mood will change? My children's confidence will grow?"
Stay with me on this.
Did you know that “Grandpa” once lost his job in a crisis? What did he do? How
did he cope? Maybe Grandpa’s job loss encouraged him to begin a new path or
maybe he picked up a gambling habit. Did you know that when the Depression hit, Grandma refused to stand idly by and she organized a co-op "store" where the neighborhood could share their harvest with everyone? Or that time that Great-Grandpa left the family and Great-Grandma raised nine children on her own? Be prepared to find a variety of stories
within your family tree, but with them, remember your ancestors were real
people dealing with real problems. They are just like you. In this discovery,
you will find comradery. You will find that you are not the only person in your
family who has ever experienced anxiety or uncertainty. This will unify you
with your past and provide a broader perspective for your present.
Now, where would you
begin?
Perhaps you do not
have written histories in your possession. Here are a few easy ideas where you
can begin to find out the stories of your past.
●
Call your closest
living relative and ask if you can interview them, one question a day. Have a
list of questions ready to ask them so if they say yes, you can dive right in!
● If you have limited time, set a timer for five minutes, and let them know at the beginning of the call. Take notes as you listen. Their experiences can bring perspective and hope.
● Consider setting up your loved one on a video chat app like Marco Polo. This app provides the option to record a video and allows your loved one to listen and reply at their leisure. Later, you can listen and take notes at your leisure. This is a great time-saving option! Send your loved one a quick video question every day or once a week to begin your adventure.
Finally, do not
forget about your future posterity. They will look to you! Challenge yourself
to write just five lines a day in a journal, on a blog, even on a vlog! You are
your future’s closest relative and they will need to know how you experienced
the chaos around you.
What treasures of wisdom are waiting for you to discover in your family! This pandemic may have restricted you physically for a time, but it does not have to break your connection to your past or your future.
[1] Author Interviews, Weekend Edition Sunday,
2013. NPR Choice Page. [online] Npr.org
(https://www.npr.org/2013/02/17/171929472/control-the-chaos-with-secrets-of-happy-families:
accessed 24 June 2020).
